Many of my friends or people I meet for the first time ask me what it's like to have a chronic illness and be in pain all the time. Honestly that's one of the hardest questions to answer.
Pain is so variable and it's very hard to put into words. I have good days and bad days. Days where I can cope with the pain emotionally, days were it forces me to break down and I have no idea how I'll get through.
But I thought it might be useful for me to try to describe a bad day to put it all into context...
Bad days are never ever planned, they just happen, usually when you really really don't want them too. They can last just one day or weeks. If you can, imagine the most tired you have ever ever felt, then add in the fact that all your muscles ache and every time you move sharp pain hits all your joints.
Most people think a day in bed is the best thing in the world! But on a bad day, even in bed you're not comfortable, you try to get back to sleep but your back and hips are in intense pain which makes it near impossible to lie down. Watching tv and films might work for a little while but nothing can truly distract you from the aching pain you feel.
On a bad day, you can't leave the house, your freedom is completely robbed from you. You physically can't find the strength and energy within yourself to stand to cook or go outside, today you just have to be content with existing.
Many people see me on a day to day basis and are shocked that I am in pain. We learn to hide it well, but truthfully a lot of the struggle goes on behind closed doors.
It can be very disheartening and depressing to have chronic pain. But life is beautiful, there is so much positive in the life around us and in the people we love - and that is what keeps us going.
Thank you to everyone who loves and supports me,