Saturday, 4 June 2016

Saying Goodbye...

I wrote this a few months back and as the days are flying by, i feel like it's right to share this...

It never feels right to say goodbye.

Maybe that’s why i keep putting it off.

The timing isn’t right. The feelings are too hard to address. Any way of commemorating you isn’t worthy enough.

 You see, you are too special. 

Too much of everything to just let go of.
 And that’s the problem. I. Can’t. Let. Go. 

I just can’t. 

but maybe thats ok.

 Maybe i have to find a way to let it be. 

To get by day to day and let little things remind me of you. 

Maybe that’s the way i deal with it. Not to “get over it” but to carry you.

To carry what precious little i have of you with me. 

Maybe i don’t need a day for you, or a commemoration to remember you. Maybe that’s the only way i’ll cope. 

Because having to physically mark that you are gone, is to let my world crash down. 

And i’m not ready for that. Not ready to say goodbye. 

So this isn’t goodbye. It’s I miss you. But i’ll remember you. Always. 

Sunday, 1 May 2016

I See The Light - Ukulele Chords, Lyrics & My Cover

Hiya folks! 

Recently i put up a cover up on Youtube of one of my most favourite Disney songs, "I see the light" from Tangled. I made a shortened version of the song, just singing Rapunzel's section of the duet.

You can see my cover here:

Here are the Uke chords and lyrics i used for my cover: 
All those days, Watching from the window
All those years, Outside looking in 
All that time, Never even knowing,
C        D7     G7
Just how blind I've been 

C             G7               C
Now I'm here, Blinking in the starlight
C             G7         C
Now I'm here, Suddenly i see
F              Em    
Standing here, It's oh so clear, 
Am        D7           G7
I'm where I'm meant to be

F                     C
And at last i see the light 
G7                        C
And it's like the fog has lifted
F                     C
And at last i see the light
    E7                Am7
And it's like the sky is new
        F                  C
And it's warm and real and bright 
        Em                F
And the world has somehow shifted
C           G7               C
All at once everything looks different
F        G7    C
Now that i see you
F        G7    C 
Now that i see you 

Have a great day!
Much Love, Beth xxx

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Art Focus: Get out of your own way!

I read a quote recently that said "Great things don't come from comfort zones"

The reality of running your own business is that you can very easily get comfortable and stuck in a routine that isn't challenging you. Being your own boss has it's benefits but you defintely have to be on top of your game! 

Enthusiasm for your business is a must but that's easy to say and harder to actually maintain. So here are a few things i've found helpful when i've mentally hit a brick wall. These can apply to running a business, working from home, running a blog, youtube channel etc. 

1. Talk to others about your business - and be excited!

This is probably the hardest step, even still, for me. I'm naturally a very introverted person and find it hard to express myself in day to day life never mind talking about my business. But i've learnt that talking about what you're up to not only keeps you excited about your work but also you get so much inspiration from throwing ideas around with friends.

2. Have a few projects lined up. 

Another must for me is knowing where my business is going. Every 6 months or so i'll re-assess and plan out a few major projects i want to complete in the next few months. This way, you don't get lost in the day to day routine, rather you're working towards bigger goals or targets that give you needed motivation. 

3. Embrace social media!

If you haven't already... really??? Do it! There's nothing more awesome than instant feedback. Building a community of followers takes time, so be patient. But if people are interested in the subject area of your work they'll stick around and even better, give you much valued advice!
A warning with this though, don't listen to just one voice. What are the community as a whole telling you? Don't let one negative comment put you off the project you've always wanted to work on. 

4. Have a work environment that suits YOUR needs. 

For me, that means space, space to lay everything out. It also means letting things get a bit messy while I'm in the middle of projects - so my big desk suits my work style!
Try a few different set ups and figure out where you are most productive. 

5. Do your best to have regular work hours and stick to them. Don't do too much "over time".

Working from home comes with the added challenge of learning to leave it alone. Sometimes i'm tempted to do a bit of work in the evening, despite already working during the day. But i've learnt it's best to leave it. Be strict with 
yourself and enjoy the recreation time! Also, having scheduled work hours means i'm more productive in that time now. Rather than thinking "Ah, i can get around to that later" i'm more strict with myself meaning i usually get more done compared with what i used to. 

6. Make it fun!

Working from home can be a bit monotonous, so change it up where you can. Whether it's new projects, sitting out in the sun to do a bit of paperwork, regularly changing up your work hours, or being creative with your workspace, be sure to diversify your work and keep it fun!

I hope some of these tips help you. I work as a self employed artist and illustrator, if you'd like to see my work you check it here:

Have a great day!
Much Love, Beth xxx

Sunday, 3 April 2016

Living with Anxiety & Learning to drive...

Anxiety is without a doubt one of the most vexing things you'll go through in life. 
It's hard to describe and even harder to understand.
For me, it's an underlying thing and then, all of a sudden it consumes me. 

Learning to drive was probably one of the most daunting things to challenge my anxiety. Heart palpitations before my lessons were a regular occurrence. Often i couldn't sleep the night before a lesson. The whole day leading up to my lesson would spur my mind into a panic, leading me to think i wasn't good enough, i should give up and that i would never remember enough from the lessons to eventually pass my test. 

At the time I felt an overwhelming amount of determination, even if my mind wasn't at a good point to deal with new things, i felt like it was a necessity not to give up and that if i succeeded, this would be an incredibly altering thing and ultimately, unbelievably empowering. 

Every single mistake i made in my lessons stayed with me. More fuel for my mind to be anxious! But i carried on. I did a lot of breathing exercises before my lessons. After each lesson i tried to take a bit of time to appreciate everything i'd done right. 

I think it's important to acknowledge that anxiety doesn't go away. I try to not let anxiety prevent me from doing things. But it's still there. 
Every time i think about driving, my mind tries to tell me that i don't remember how to do it. Or that it would be wiser and safer for me to stay at home. 
It sounds absolutely bonkers! And it kind of is. But it's a reality. Like an inbuilt reaction that i can't stop. I hope that as i gain more and more experience that voice of anxiety in my head will get quieter and quieter. 

The biggest lesson i have learnt is that whilst we do acknowledge our anxiety, and that is a very important step, It's not always correct to listen to it. We can prove ourselves wrong and do things we never imagined. 

You have just as much potential to reach for your goals and pursue what makes you happy.

Anxiety is a part of me, but it doesn't define me. 

Much Love, Beth xxx 

When i passed my driving test last year....

Sunday, 6 March 2016

For my Nana Frances // So Much - Newton Faulkner - Lyrics and cover

This post is a hard one for me to write. It's about someone i care for deeply, but sometimes when you care so much about someone it's hard to put that into words.
Especially, when it's family.

I never had the privilege of meeting my Nana Frances but i've gone through my life with people telling me i look like her, act like her and remind them of her.

Despite never meeting her, she's so precious in my heart. To have so much of someone be a natural part of you is a blessing.

When i first listened to this song, i stopped in my tracks. I just felt like everything i ever wanted to say to my Nana was in this song.

Below is my version of the lyrics i used and my video:

So much - Newton Faulkner Lyrics

I wish you, could see me.
I'm flying, still don't know how
I owe you, some much i guess you knew that.

I know that, you would be,
proud of me, i hope you are,
I owe you so much,
I hope you knew that.

There's so much of you, in everything i do.
Just wish that you were still around.
But i'm following through,
Just could do so much more if you, were still around.
Were still around.

I'm still here, Still fighting,
Still crazy, still trying,
I owe you so much,
I hope you know that.

There's so much of you, in everything i do.
Just wish that you, were still around.
But i'm following through,
Just could do so much more if you were still around.

It's one thing time will not erase.
My life would not have been the same.
I miss you, i could use a friend.
to run some things by now and then

There's so much of you...

In everything i do...

There's so much of you in everything i do,
Just wish that you were still around.
Were still around

I wish you, could see me,

I'm flying...

Hope you enjoyed my cover!
Much Love, Beth xxx

Saturday, 20 February 2016

Deep in the meadow - The Hunger Games - Lyrics & Cover

Hey Folks!

So last week i put up a cover of a beautiful song featured in The Hunger Games. Jennifer Lawrence sang it beautifully at the end of "Mockingjay - Part 2" and i couldn't help but doing my own version of it.

Here's the lyrics and my cover:

"Deep in the Meadow"

Deep in the meadow, under the willow,
a bed of grass, a soft green pillow.

Lay down your head and close your eyes,
and when you wake the sun will rise.

Here it's safe, here it's warm,
here the daisies guard you from every harm.
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where i love you.

Hope you enjoyed it, Much Love, Beth xxx

Monday, 1 February 2016

Day in the life of a spoonie...

A spoonie? What now? If you're unsure of what it means to be a spoonie, it basically means you have a chronic condition of some sort that prevents you from doing all you want in life. If you want more info about living with a chronic illness, you can read one of my past blog posts here:

If you're like me you're a visual person and reading long articles ain't the greatest fun! With this in mind i've really been trying to up my game on Youtube and make videos that truly reflect what it's like to live with a chronic illness. One of my most recent videos i filmed on a work day at home.

Granted i'm coping quite well these days. I'm tired beyond words but my morale is high, higher than it's ever been since i've been diagnosed. So the last thing i want you to do is compare yourself to me and feel like you should be doing more. I'm very grateful for my very basic weekly routine and to also have work that is extremely flexible for those frequent days where everything is a challenge.

So i'll link the video, please show your support, and comment! I love reading & replying to your comments.

Treat life better than it has treated you. Breathe. Drink tea.

Love you.


Day in the life video:

My art & illustration work:

Have a great day!

Thursday, 21 January 2016

Somebody that i used to know

I believe that some of us are more nostalgic in nature. I would include myself in the "extremely nostalgic" category, meaning memories of the past are a daily occurrence, even an hourly occurrence.
Hence, i look backwards, metaphorically speaking, at my life. A LOT. However, a problem arises when you have this trait, you always seem to sugar-coat the past. Making it seem much more glorious than it was.

It was this problem that faced me recently. I had found myself picking up on all the things in my life that currently I'm not happy with and comparing it with the past. But this kind of attitude can be extremely damaging. It can lead to a life where you're constantly chasing an ideal where all the motions in your life are running correctly all at the same time. When the reality is, there's always an area in our lives that we need to give attention to.

My most recent battle with myself has to do with spending more time with family and friends. I always seem to either be too tired or not have enough time to properly spend time with the people i love like i used to. For a good month there, i was beating myself up about this and getting nowhere. When one day i picked up my diary and riffled back to this time last year. My diary entries, although not frequent are all centred around my health and how miserable i felt. This time last year i was struggling big time with anxiety, spending most days in bed and struggling physically. It was reading this that made me realise just how quickly we can forget what our lives used to be like.

I would pick the life that i am living right now over all of those diary entries. And yes, in the past, i may have had more time for the people i cherish, but in no way was i content or living a full life. I have a lot more going on these days. I actually have a schedule that i do my best to keep to. I volunteer quite a few hours a month, i run my business (and i actually have scheduled work days in the week - eep!), I have begun translating sign language again, I've been practicing guitar again, I'm hopefully back on more consistent schedule with blogging and Youtube - and i wonder why I'm tired?

My life is more intense than it used to be. I still have to take plenty of days off, as it's all about managing my health and pain levels. But i've never felt contentment like this in my life, that is a point i will treasure - and i hope it lasts!

As always much love, Beth xxx