It's ok if all you did today was breathe.
I think we all forget how important it is to stop and just take a moment to breathe, especially when considering something so sensitive and fragile as grieving.
So take a moment before reading any further and give yourself a moment of calm.
Ok, so here's the tough stuff...
It's ok to grieve.
Recently, i went through the loss of a friend that shook my world more than i could have imagined.
This loss threw a question at me - why does no one ever talk about grieving?
From what i have experienced, in my culture anyway, it's not really normal to talk about the pain death causes.
For me, i always feel like there is this pressure that once a funeral happens, a loved one should just be able to move on. But in reality, it takes weeks, months, even years to just be able to live with the pain and to a certain extent, on some level, be able to cope.
This point was really brought home to me when i was very young. I had a family member pass away when i was in primary school, i reckon i was about 10 years old at the time. A week after the funeral a classmate of mine came up to me and asked me why i was still crying? Why was i still sad?
Even as a child i could't believe how little it's talked about that we need time to process and grieve the loss of someone.
The main reason i wanted to write this post is because of the guilt i felt at taking time to grieve recently. It's been 3 months and my heart still feels like it's shattered in pieces when i think about my friend.
I don't know when i'll feel "ok" again but i'm processing and trying to be honest with myself about the time i need.
I think what's really important is to have people there for you when you're ready for them.
If you have gone through a loss, i hope you find peace and a way to go on. Try to find joy in the simple things, and know that you will find happiness again. And when you are happy, know that it is in no way disrespecting your loved one but rather finding a way to carry on without them here.
Much Love, Beth xxx