Saying Goodbye...

I wrote this a few months back and as the days are flying by, i feel like it's right to share this...

It never feels right to say goodbye.

Maybe that’s why i keep putting it off.

The timing isn’t right. The feelings are too hard to address. Any way of commemorating you isn’t worthy enough.
 You see, you are too special. 

Too much of everything to just let go of.
 And that’s the problem. I. Can’t. Let. Go. 

I just can’t. 

but maybe thats ok.
 Maybe i have to find a way to let it be. 

To get by day to day and let little things remind me of you. 

Maybe that’s the way i deal with it. Not to “get over it” but to carry you.
To carry what precious little i have of you with me. 

Maybe i don’t need a day for you, or a commemoration to remember you. Maybe that’s the only way i’ll cope. 

Because having to physically mark that you are gone, is to let my world crash down. 

And i’m not ready for that. Not ready to say goodbye. 

So this isn’t goodbye. It’s I miss you. But i’ll remember you. Always.